Had a phone call from computer technical support today, as a courtesy of the computer techguy I write this in english.
There where apparently a problem with my computer and the internet connection. Great I thought my old computer really had an issue with the internet connection they have called me back. The call went something like this.
Techguy “Sir, are you in front of your computer?”
Me: “No, but I can go in the cupboard and find it?”
“Yeah do that, I’ll wait”
So I went into the cupboard found the computer, found a power supply lead and a keyboard. It was dark in the cupboard so I had to fetch a torch.
Me “Sir, you have to wait, I need to find a torch so I can see the computer.”
Techguy “OK, I’ll be waiting”
But then I realised that this was somebody working, so I couldn’t be rude. So I tried to find the computer in the dark.
Me: “Hi are you there, I have to let of the phone so that a can retrieve my computer”
Techguy: “I’ll be waiting”
Me: “Ok, I’m back. What do I do?”
Techguy “You must send me your serious number”
Me: “Ok, what is this serious number?”
Techguy: “I cannot give you personal details until I have confirmed you identity”
Me: “Ok, where on my computer is the serious number written?
Techguy: “ It’s a system number you must turn on you computer.”
Me: “I’m on it, just need to find my screen and plug in the keyboard first”
Techguy “I’m waiting for you”
I’m fondling about and finds more stuff that relates to my computer, but realises that I don’t have a readily an available screen. So I decides that this is a bit to much for me to bother. So I continue with what I have.
Me: “I’m ready, what do I do?”
Techguy: “In the far left corner of your keyboard do you have a control button?”
Techguy “Next to it what key do you have there?”
“A Windows key”
“Ok, press that one and the R button, what do you see on you screen?”
“I see black and white writing as normal, do I have to read all of it?”
At this point I switch computer, wasn’t really sure if this guy was the real deal or if he was planning to fix my problems on the old computer. So I opened DOSBox so I could replicate what I pretended.
“Ok, C\> SET BLASTER=A220 I7 D1 H5 T6. Was that helpful?”
Techguy: “I will set you over to my supervisor, just take a minute”
Supervisor ” so you have problems with your internet?”
Me “yeah, it haven’t work for some time on the computer?”
Supervisor “Ok, can you open the windows status menu?”
No I confused but I doesn’t care.
Me “Ok, is it a problem that I don’t have windows on this computer?”
Supervisor “what operating system do you have?”
“MS-DOS, how old are you?”
“And you use MS-DOS?”
“yeah, use it for playing games”
“Ok, do you have chrome on your computer?”
Ask this a couple of times until I answers:
“No, don’t think it will work on this computer?”
Techguy “Do you have Internet Explorer?”
Me “I think I have an early version of Netscape on it. But as I said the internet haven’t worked for some time…”
“Do you use this computer for internet?”
“No, use it mostly for playing games”
“Do you have internet on a smart phone or any other device?”
“I have a computer at work”
At this moment I thought that I’m hoping that this isn’t a lie. Well I’m not starting working until August 1st, but they said that the computer should be available by now.
Techguy “so where do you send email or use online banking?”
Me “Well, I send some emails at work if I have to, and go to the bank like other people.”
Techguy: “I don’t think I can help you with this one, byebye”
He hung up.